I always wanted to write a blog, day to day I feel that I have so much to share, So many things that I would love to share that could maybe help others. Life has been insane the last year. Almost one year ago today my life was turned upside down. The life that I thought I would live was taken from me, and there was nothing I could do to stop it. My children were put in a situation that I never wanted for them, and there was nothing I could do to protect them from it. I spent my whole life protecting them and trying my best to solve every situation that came their way. I believed I was successful at that.
This time no matter what I did, I couldn’t keep this from changing their lives forever. My husband of 17 years, walked out the door, and right into another. I cried and screamed, and cried and screamed. I am sure I threw stuff too and I slept A LOT... But then I leaned into the support that was waiting around me. Family, friends, co-workers, neighbors, and GOD. Little by little, reaching out for the help that was there for me. Hearing the same things over and over, things started to click. It is incredible how much good there is in this world. I began to live by this simple thought... What you focus on expands. When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change! -Wayne Dyer
Life has been a process of messing up, feeling horrible, learning from it, changing the way I look at situations, feeling great, and the cycle continues. I didn’t want to have to learn so much, I didn’t want to be called strong. I didn’t want any of it. Everyone told me repeatedly, you are going to be ok. You are going to be better than you ever were. One year later, I do feel different, to a certain extent I am better, I am stronger...but.... I still won’t ever say that I am glad this happened this way.
Maybe one day I will. For now, I continue to wake up every day, mindful of all of the beautiful things in my life. I remind myself to look at things the way I want to see them and to keep my attention away from the darkness, from the pain and the hurt. Every second I do this, things change. I chose to chase the light in every situation. If you have gone through this, please know it is so easy to do, and also so easy not to do. Write it down all over your house, post it notes everywhere you look. Remind yourself to focus on the blessings, and watch your blessings begin to grow exponentially. – Lizzie